I feel like there should be a recording of this from either Frank Morgan or Pat Buttram, someone of that ilk.
A character in a straw hat standing on a fruit crate, a city slicker addressing rubes, reminding concerned parents and all those assembled how Dr. Winchell's Teething Syrup "softens the gums, assists dentition," etc.
A slow, steady build, right?
And then by the time we reach "Away with your Cordial, Paregoric Drops, Laudanum, and every other narcotic, by which the babe is drugged into stupidity, and rendered dull and idiotic for life," the barker should be in full Robert Preston mode, finger guns blazing, working the crowd into the kind of frenzy that only Dr. Winchell can cure.
A boon to humanity, indeed.
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