"Crap! I wish I hadn't seen Ricky on the sidewalk."

"You will be fine for 31 minutes. You will be dead in 32 minutes."

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Good for What Ales You

The whole time we were in Sun City, Tony was texting us.  He's been talking about the Phoenix Brewer's Invitational all week and he wanted us to join him downtown and drink beer.  Plastic mugs were $10 and tokens were $1 each.  Each token was good for a 4 oz. pour. A full glass of beer cost you four tokens.

Tony knows a lot about beer, so he's the perfect companion for a beer festival.  None of us had eaten anything in Sun City, though we did stop for snacks at Walgreens.  Corey bought a coffee and some generic Thin Mints (less Girl Scouts, more Peppermint Patty), Michelle bought some coconut water and some chocolate covered pretzels, and I bought a Coke Zero. 

We shared the snacks, breezed through the last of the Sun City thrift stores, and headed east to meet up with Tony.  He'd already been drinking for an hour when we showed up.  He identified himself as "the plastered guy in a Cardinals shirt." 

Lunch was at Pizzeria Bianco.  Normally it's very difficult to get in, but thanks to the beer festival it wasn't that crowded. We ordered some olives, a Margherita pizza, and a Wiseguy (with fennel sausage).  There was no point in ordering a beer with the festival just outside our door, so we all drank water.  While we ate, Tony asked what kind of beer everyone liked and explained that most of the volunteers were generous with the 4 oz. pours.  Once we had properly fortified ourselves, we got wristbands and hit the festival.
I think Michelle started with a stout.  She said it tasted like poop.  My first beer was an IPA and it was mostly foam.  Everyone looked at my mug and murmured, "weak pour." 
It was sunny as hell.  Tony needed a bathroom.  We pressed on.  Most of the booths had anywhere from three to six taps.  My next pour was fine, as was the next.  I can't tell you the name of anything I drank.  If you want to know, ask Tony.  Michelle sipped her second beer and said it was worse than the first.  "You liked the poop beer better?" Apparently she did. 
By the third round, everyone was in fine spirits.  We sat on the grass for a long while and pooled our last few tokens.  We left around 6 p.m. and went back to Michelle's.  We said our goodbyes and I gave Tony a ride back to Tempe. 
Once I dropped Tony off, I reached into the back seat for the leftover pizza.  There were three slices left.  It was gone by the time I got home.

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