"Crap! I wish I hadn't seen Ricky on the sidewalk."

"You will be fine for 31 minutes. You will be dead in 32 minutes."

Monday, August 19, 2013


When Tania and Angela got married, they encouraged everyone to take the centerpiece and the decorations from the tables at their reception.

I'm getting ahead of myself.

First there was the eating and the dancing and the drinking and the toasting. And before that, a lovely ceremony where they literally sewed themselves to each other. Bound by love, but also needles and thread.

When the night was over and the band had gone home, and someone was flicking the lights on and off, that was when people were encouraged to grab things on the way to their cars.

Somehow, I ended up with this vase.

Shortly thereafter, I started tossing loose change into it.  Of course, when one rarely carries cash, random coins occur infrequently. The coins accumulated slowly, over a period of years and years.  

At one point, I poured out all the change and organized it into stacks. It was close to $70. 

I know this because buried beneath a few layers of recently added coins is a piece of paper with the date (8/10/10) and a figure ($67.10).

Now it's time to pack up my things and a glass vase full of coins seems like unnecessary baggage.  

I used to work in an accounting office and know what a pain in the ass it is to roll coins. The last time I was in my credit union, I asked if they required people to roll coins ahead of time.

The teller told me not to bother.  

"It's a lot of coins," I told her.  She shrugged.  "Just bring them in," she said.  

I have a feeling I'm not going to be very popular at the credit union the day that transaction happens. I'll be the story all the bank tellers share over dinner.

"There was this guy today," they'll all say.  "He had a glass vase full of coins . . ."

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