"Crap! I wish I hadn't seen Ricky on the sidewalk."

"You will be fine for 31 minutes. You will be dead in 32 minutes."

Sunday, April 14, 2013


Last Saturday, Sammy and Julia drove to my house for lunch.  On the way, they stopped at Best Buy and bought me a gift for my birthday.  

It was a copy of Lincoln. 

I smiled, thanked him for thinking of me.  I gave him a big hug, which I do even when it's not my birthday.

He asked me if I had it already, and I said no. "If you read my blog," I said, "you'd know how I feel about that piece of shit movie."  

This is the kind of relationship I have with my son. I know he's not a big reader, and the last thing I expect him to do is read my goddamn blog. We all had a good laugh over that one.

"I wanted to buy you The Master," he said, "but they didn't have it."

I'm a tough guy to buy for, I'm the first person to admit it.  

I told him I loved The Master, said it would've been perfect.  

He said he couldn't find it at Best Buy and the woman who helped him kept asking if he wanted Master & Commander or a movie from 1984 called The Master starring Lee Van Cleef. 

At Christmas, Sammy gave me a gift card. He didn't want to go that route again, which is how he came to buy Lincoln.  

I asked him if there was a gift receipt. There was, and we went to lunch.  

On Thursday, I went to Best Buy and bought a copy of The Master.

I need some new headphones, but I couldn't find any I liked. I thought I'd end up with a $10 gift card, but the cashier gave me cash. 

On Friday, a package arrived from Sara.  

She'd called the night before, said two things were headed my way. She's been busy with work, and hadn't had much time to shop. A care package would arrive first, followed by a separate package a few days later. 

There was a card, two Tanqueray minis, an 8-pack of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and a copy of Make-Ahead Recipes from Cook's Illustrated. The card was hilarious. I could tell the Reese's were a little melted, so I stuck them in the refrigerator.

The gin was unaffected by the weather.


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