"Crap! I wish I hadn't seen Ricky on the sidewalk."

"You will be fine for 31 minutes. You will be dead in 32 minutes."

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Jean Theory

Is there a male equivalent of "mom" jeans?

I've been wearing the same damn brand of denim since high school.  Nothing fancy, Levi's 501 shrink-to-fit jeans.  Button fly.   We used to buy them at Miller's Outpost a couple of weeks before school started, and given my long, stubborn fashion history (black Hanes t-shirts, Chuck Taylors, jeans)it should come as no surprise that I've been repurchasing the same basic uniform for over three decades.

Until yesterday.

I don't know what the hell came over me, but I was in Old Navy and there was a sale and a coupon and I walked out with these things for $18 and change.  Jeans with a zipper?  Now I've seen everything.

Do I feel like a fraud?  You bet.  A cheap sonofabitch?  Uh-huh.  End of an era or just a momentary lapse in reason? 

It's too soon to tell.

I washed them, I wore them, I confessed my misgivings.  The people I was with last night couldn't care less. 

There is an inevitable invisibility that comes with age, that much I know, but I still want to recognize myself as I pass through life, undetected.

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